Thursday, July 29, 2010


There's been a lot of talk about these Cougars.

I'm usually the last person to grasp the latest meaning of the latest IT-Phrases. So I demand a little sympathy for not being cc'd when the memo was sent out.

Question: When exactly did the derogatory shame-stamp, "Cougar," become a celebrated social achievement, worthy of vanity-plate advertisement?

Nobody disputes the fantastic irony found today in a Lowe's hardware parking lot: a minivan with a loud and proud vanity plate, screaming "SHE'S A COUGAR!" The photo-quality, air-brushed portrait of an actual cougar simply takes the cake!

Compulsively, I had questions that needed answers, like, Who is "SHE" anyway? What exactly is "SHE" after? And will the minivan serve as an asset for her endeavors?

The Cougar tag presumably answers some of these inquiries. But I needed more input. So I looked into it by texting my closest advisors, and they never disappoint...

"Minivan? Really? Is this where we're at?" I asked the crew.

The First advisor quipped, "Wow. Pretty sad and desperate. I feel bad for her kids."

The Chef wrote, "it's just truck balls for the ladies."

The College Kid zinged, "Would you rather it be a champagne colored 04 camero convertible?"

"That makes more sense. It's logical," I replied.

He snapped, "Logic should never be a safe haven for vanity or stupidity."

Finally, DingoFish The Straggler added, "I'm so sick of cougars being cool but old guys hitting on young girls are perverts. I've started a new term for male cougars- "Dingos" in order to equalize things. PROUD TO BE A DINGO!"


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